Hey guys,

On behalf of dog owners everywhere, I want to apologize for the feces-filled plastic bags  littering your digs.  I’m hoping you can put all those 2,000 year-old dog turds to good use.

If you are also a farmer, I’m betting that manure (or holy shit as some of us like to call it) has been reassigned its rightful place as a natural resource.

Thanks for all you’re doing to restore the planet we fucked up. Here’s wishing you continued success in your work!

ps – Dear Person Who Left Their Poo Bag By a Tree: your karma is making your dog nervous.